{HELP ME!!!!!!!}

Apparently this little guy and his friends were not given the notification that I really DON'T do bugs. It's bad enough that I'm having to touch and tear WET LEAVES (ugh), and that it's been raining the last few days, and these collards were freshly cut yesterday right before I bought them, so they are covered in mud..
Have I mentioned before that I DON'T DO DIRT AND BUGS? OMGosh, I'm itching all over. I've found 3 of these little worms in the first bag of collards that I bought. Really, you have NO IDEA the problems this is causing me. It's bad enough that instead of cooking the greens right now, (have 4 pots to cook!) I'm sitting here blogging, trying to decide if a Xanax is in order or not. I have a TRUE phobia about this kind of stuff. I just can't touch dirt/mud, wet leaves creep me the heck out the way they cling to my hands, and now THE BUGS. The awful WRETCHED BUGS FROM HELL!! I KNOW that bugs are part of "the curse".
Anyway, so y'all, I need some prayers that I can get through this other 10lb bag of collard greens. I gotta prep them, which is tearing all the soft leaves off the hard stems, then washing them over and over and OVER before squashing them in the pressure cooker to cook. I don't mind the cooking part. It's the prepping part that is REALLY hard on me today. What with the WORMS.
OK, (deep breath) back to work. Now. I'm getting up from my desk now. Any minute...
You know, I think I'd rather go scrub the toilet with my bottom lip. Yeah, I REALLY HATE DIRT AND BUGS... ugh.